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BERDOSA….ALLAH, Ampunilah….



 



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“Astaghfirullahalazim… Astaghfirullahalazim… Astaghfirullahalazim…”

 Kalam suci itu semakin lama semakin mendayu diungkapkan dalam sebuah lafaz... Mata dipejam erat. Bayangan-bayangan dosa silam menjelma di tubir mata, seakan-akan sebuah skrin yang menayangkan kembali satu persatu kesilapan diri yang terlalu banyak dilakukan...rasa tidak terhitung lagi…seraya air jernih terus menitis. Hangat. Semakin lama hati menjadi semakin sebak…pilu menusuk-nusuk ruangan sanubari…

“Allahurabbi…terlalu menggunung dosaku ini..apakah Engkau masih sudi memaafi? Meski berkali-kali ku ungkapkan kata lafaz untuk kembali, tetapi janji itu sentiasa dimungkiri.. Apakah masih ada kesempatan lagi untukku mengukir taubat ini…??”


Firman Allah swt yang bermaksud:

 “ Katakanlah, wahai hamba-hambaKu yang berlebih-lebihan terhadap dirinya (dengan memperbuat dosa), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah swt. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa semuanya. Sesungguhnya Dialah yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang. Kembalilah (bertaubatlah) kamu kepada Tuhanmu, dan patuhlah kamu kepadaNya sebelum tiba siksaan kepadamu, kemudian kamu tidak mendapat pertolongan” (Az-Zumar: 53,54).



Sesungguhnya…

Sebutir air mata yang jatuh kerana keinsafan, seribu kali lebih baik daripada sejuta mutiara di lautan…

Sesaat bersedih kerana redha ALLAH, adalah lebih mulia daripada bersedih kerana cinta manusia…

Sejernih wudhu yang sempurna, adalah lebih bercahaya dari kilauan  segunung permata…

Sesuci hati kerana mendamba cinta Ilahi, itulah hakikat cinta abadi dan hakiki…




Tuhanku,
Ku akui segala kesalahan dan kesilapan diri…
Ampunilah…maafkanlah…
Segala kelalaian, segala kealpaan…
Seringkai tersasar dari jalan lurusMU…
Seringkali tewas dengan runtunan nafsu…
Bantuku untuk mujahadah…
Tolonglah daku untuk istiqamah…

Pimpinlah hatiku
Kepada cintaMu
Untuk kembali semula kepadaMu
Berikanku petunjukMu
Kurniakanku hidayahMu
Kasihi dan kasihanilah hambaMu ini
Yang seringkali menzalimi diri sendiri…

Ya Rabb…
Perindahkan diriku dengan hiasan ketakwaan,
Cantikkan diriku dengan sepenuh keimanan,
Pimpin jalanku kepada kebenaran,
Hindarkan hatiku dari belenggu hasutan syaitan,
Istiqamahkan diriku pada kebaikan,
Semoga bisa meraih redha-MU Tuhan…



“Ya Allah, sesungguhnya kami telah menzalimi diri kami sendiri. Jika tidak Engkau ampuni dan memberi rahmat kepada kami, nescaya kami termasuk orang-orang yang rugi.” (Al-A’raf: 23)


“Ya Tuhan kami, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami dan tindakan-tindakan kami yang berlebihan (dalam) urusan kami dan tetapkanlah pendirian kami dan tolonglah kami terhadap orang-orang kafir (Al-Imran:147)”


“Tiada Tuhan yang sebenar-benarnya melainkan Engkau jua. Maha Suci Engkau sesungguhnya aku adalah dari golongan orang yang menzalimi diri sendiri” (HR At-Tirmizi, Al-Hakim)



 Firman Allah swt yang bermaksud:

 “Dan orang-orang yang apabila mereka mengerjakan perbuatan keji atau menzalimi diri sendiri, segera mengingati ALLAH, lalu memohon ampun atas dosa-dosanya dan siapa lagi yang dapat mengampunkan dosa-dosa selain ALLAH? Dan mereka tidak meneruskan perbuatan dosa itu sedang mereka mengetahui.” (Al-Imran: 135)




Tajuk: Epilog Silam

Munsyid : Haikal



Dalam Mengenang Kisah Hidup Silam

Ku Sedar Dari Kesilapan Lalu

Tuhan Beratnya Dosa Dosaku



Masihkah Ada Ampunan Buatku

Tuhan Dalam Menempuh Hidup Ini

Banyaknya Dugaan Datang Menguji

Tuhan Ada Yang Dapatku Gagahi

Dan Ada Yang Gagalku Hindari



Tuhan Dosaku Menggunung Tinggi

Tapi Taubatku Takku Tepati

Tuhan RahmatMu Melangit Luas

Terlalu Sedikitku Bersyukur



Kiniku Kembali PadaMu

Mengharap Maghfirah DariMu

Mogakan Terampunlah Dosa Dosaku



Biarpun Ujian Melanda

Ku Tetap Ingin Berkasih PadaMu

Kernaku Yakin KasihMu

Kekal Tiada Sudahnya…



~Cuma ingin REDHA-Mu Rabbi~
: Hikmatul Islam,
: 0430 a.m,
: Selasa, 25102011.
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LEMAH….Tanda kekerdilanku sebagai hambaMu…






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Di saat DIA menimpakan ujian dan musibah, ku terduduk kaku. Terdampar sepi mencari sebuah kekuatan diri.

Membisu. Membiarkan hati bermonolog sendiri.
Cuba menahan sebak di dada. Namun ternyata,, hati tidak kuat..
Diri akhirnya terkulai lemah, seketika titik jernih itu mengalir jua…

Biarkanlah ia jatuh, moga kelemahan diri ini tanda kekerdilanku sebagai hambaNYA..
Tiada daya lagi untuk diucapkan dengan perkataan kecuali kalimah itu;


“Sungguh,,diriku milikMU hanya kepada ENGKAU jualah aku kembali…”


Kemudian, membelek kembali mesej yang dihantar oleh ukhti…cuba menafsir dalam-dalam tiap bait kata yang terukir…


“Adikku…
hadapi kekurangan kita dan akui segala kekurangan itu
kerana kita tiada yang sempurna
namun, jangan biarkan ia menguasai diri kita
biarkan kekurangan itu mengajarkan kita erti kesabaran
alangkah beruntungnya orang yang mampu
menjaringkan ayat-ayat indah ALLAH
dari segala kekusutan di dunia ini…


Bahagianya orang yang ALLAH anugerahkan
kesabaran dan kearifan dapat melihat hikmah-hikmahNYA
di sebalik tiap ujian dan dugaan
hingga dapat memaknai kejadian yang menyedihkan
dalam perjalanan hidup kita walaupun begitu pahit untuk menelannya…


Dik!
Jika Allah menahan kita daripada mendapatkan sesuatu,
itu bukanlah bermakna kerana DIA bakhil,
khuatir kehilangan perbendaharanNYA
atau ingin menyembunyikan hak kita
akan tetapi kerana DIA ingin kembali kepadaNYA,
DIA ingin memuliakan kita dengan tunduk pasrah kepadaNYA,
Menjadikan kita kaya dengan fakir di hadapanNYA,
Memaksa kita bersimpuh merayu hanya padaNYA,
Menjadikan kita merasakan manisnya kepasrahan kepadaNYA,
setelah merasa pahit oleh terhalang dari sesuatu…



Dan,,
Bilamana kita merasakan beban itu semakin berat,
Itu bukan bermaksud kerana DIA ingin menyiksa kita
Akan tetapi DIA bermaksud ingin
memakaikan pakaian ubudiyyah kepada kita
Menempatkan kita di tempat yang tertinggi…


Bila ALLAH baru menarik kenikmatan kita
itu bukan beerti DIA membenci kita
Tetapi DIA ingin kita menyaksikan hikmah dalam kudratNYA
rahmat dalam keperkasaanNYA dan kelembutan dalam paksaaNYA
setiap kesedihan yang dirasai kini yakinlah,,
pasti akan terukir sejuta kebahagiaan di hadapan sana
kerana hanya DIA yang mengetahui segalanya…"

(Dari: Ukhti tersayang)


Allahukbar…
diri ini lemah tiada daya..
tiap detik Dikau ingin menguji dan menguji
makna keikhlasan dan kesabaran jiwa
dengan didatangkan pelbagai mehnah dugaan dunia…

Tuhan,
walaubagaimanapun diriku terlerai berkecai,
namun ku pohon peganglah hati ini
jangan biarkan ia hancur punah
melainkan ENGKAU terus memegangnya dengan erat
agar ku masih punyai sekeping hati
yang bisa mengingati dan menyebut nama agungMu Tuhan….


Hati ingin terus dididik,,
agar sabar dan redha menerima segala cubaanNYA…
ALLAH…semoga ENGKAU meredhai….



Ketika semua pintu telah terkunci,,

PintuNYA tetap terbuka…

Ketika setiap jalan telah tertutup,,

jalanNYA selalu terbentang…

ketika semua tangan telah terkekang,,

tanganNYA sentiasa terhulur…

ketika semua cinta telah sirna…

cintaNYA tetap tercurah…

ketika tak seorang pun mampu menolong,,

hanya pertolonganNYA yang kita harapkan…

ALLAH tidak pernah menjanjikan langit akan sentiasa biru,

Dan bunga-bunga indah akan bertaburan sepanjang jalan,

Namun..

ALLAH menjanjikan kekuatan dan pertolonganNYA pasti ada

Buat hamba-hambaNYA yang bersabar….



p/s: “Dan janganlah kamu merasa LEMAH, dan jangan (pula) bersedih hati sebab kamu paling tinggi (derajatnya), jika kamu orang yang BERIMAN.” (Al-Imran:139)




Kadang-kadang...

Kita pohon kekuatan, namun…

Allah memberi kita kesulitan untuk jadikan kita kuat…

Kita pohon keteguhan hati namun…

Allah memberi kita masalah untuk dihadapi…

Kita pohon keyakinan, namun…

Allah beri kita ujian bertimpa-timpa untuk memantapkan iman di jiwa…

Kerana…

Kita tidak akan mendapat apa yang kita inginkan,

Tetapi Allah memberi apa yang kita PERLUKAN….


~Cuma ingin REDHA-Mu Rabbi~
: Hikmatul Islam,
: Ahad, 23102011,
:12.50 p.m.

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Introduction to Islamic Feminism

I intend to continue presenting my series of "feminist interpretations of the Qur'an" posts, but this might be useful for those who are unsure about what Islamic feminism is, what types there are, and what exactly Islamic feminists want. Let me say that I o longer use "Islamic feminist" and "Muslim feminist" interchangeably. The difference between the two, I've decided is this:

An Islamic feminist is one who believes that Islam can be or should be used to reclaim women's rights in Muslim/other societies; she/he is not necessarily a Muslim.
A Muslim feminist is a Muslim who struggles for or at least believes in women's rights, whether or not that means using the Qur'an for support; he/she is necessarily a Muslim but not necessarily an Islamic feminist.

All right, now. Moving on to this "Introduction."

I.                    Introduction
a.       Definition:  “a feminist discourse and practice articulated within an Islamic paradigm.” – Margot Badran
b.      How it’s different from “western” feminism
                                                               i.      The importance of religion (Islam) in Islamic feminism
II.                  Methodologies of Islamic feminists
                                                               i.      The classic Islamic methodology of ijtihad (“independent investigation of religious sources”) and tafsir (exegesis; interpretation of the Qur’an)
                                                             ii.      Methods and tools of linguistics, history, literary criticism, sociology, anthropology
                                                            iii.      Their own experiences and questions as women
1.       “Classical and post-classical interpretations of the Qur’an/Islam have been based on men’s experiences, male-centered questions, and the overall patriarchal societies in which they lived.”[1]
a.       ex: When defining aurah (an Arabic term the Qur’an uses for parts of the body that must be covered but does not specify as to what exactly those parts are), the Muslim (male) scholars had only their own experiences and views to rely upon in setting guidelines and rules for Muslim women to observe.
III.                Women in Islamic feminism
a.       The argument that if Islam liberated women in 7th century Arabia by granting them rights that may have been or were radical at the time in most other societies (rights such as those of divorce, education, choosing their own marriage partners, owning property), then it should liberate them in all other times and societies as well. In other words, if Islam’s intention is to advance their rights, it should be re-interpreted in each time period to exemplify this.
b.      Re-readings of Qur’anic verses relevant to women (e.g., 4:34) (note the difference in the underlined words and phrases)
                                                               i.      A traditional interpretation/translation of verse 4:34:
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). (Translator Yusuf Ali)
                                                             ii.      A feminist interpretation of the same verse:      
Men are the support of women as God gives some more means than others, and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). So women who are virtuous are obedient to God and guard the hidden as God has guarded it. As for women you feel are averse, talk to them suasively; then leave them alone in bed (without molesting them) and go to bed with them (when they are willing). If they open out to you, do not seek an excuse for blaming them. Surely God is sublime and great. (Translator Ahmed Ali)
c.       Re-reading the hijab verses (dress code)
                                                               i.      Hina Azam’s article “The Hijab at Cross-Purposes: Conflicting Models of Erotic in Popular Islamic Advice Literature”
IV.                Homosexuality in Islamic feminism
a.       Scott Kugle’s book Homosexuality in Islam
                                                               i.      Contesting traditional interpretations of Islam regarding homosexuality, arguing that the Qur’an never suggests a rejection of homosexuals
1.        a re-telling of the story of Lot: his people were condemned not because they were homosexuals but because they did not show respect to his guests and attempted to rape his guests. The Qur’an is thus against forced sexual acts
V.                  Other forms of Islamic feminism
a.       Accepting traditional interpretations of Islam as empowering women
b.      Using traditional understandings of Islam to reclaim (read: not gain) their rights as outlined in the Qur’an and hadiths (narrations of Prophet Muhammad)
VI.                Conclusions and Discussion
a.       How do Muslim feminist interpreters of the Qur’an avoid the bias of the classical and post-classical male interpreters? How do we know when we are being biased unless someone who experiences prejudice a result of our interpretations makes it known to us? 
b.      How do Muslim feminists deal with the fact that the Qur’an never speaks to women directly in the Qur’an, that it addresses women as a “them” (hunna in Arabic) and men as a “you (plural)” (kum in Arabic)?  How, for instance, is a feminist reading of the Qur’an possible when the Qur’an itself puts women behind an invisible veil, when God Herself never talks to women directly and uses men as a medium through which to reach women?


[1] Margot Badran, “Islamic Feminism: What’s in a Name?” http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2002/569/cu1.htm
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Fatima Mernissi's "The Veil and the Male Elite"

Mernissi, Fatima. Women and Islam: An Historical and Theological Enquiry. Trans. Mary Jo Lakeland. Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1991. (Also titled The Veil And The Male Elite: A Feminist Interpretation Of Women's Rights In Islam: A Feminist Interpretation of Women’s Rights in Islam)

Fatima Mernissi is a Moroccan writer and sociologist, born into a middle-class family in 1940. She studied political science at the Sorbonne and earned her doctorate from Brandeis University in 1957. She is popularly noted as an “Islamic feminist” because of her deep interest and studies in women’s roles in Islam, and she is concerned with the historical development of Islamic thought and how it should be viewed in modern times. Her other works include Dreams of Trespass: Dreams of a Harem Girlhood, Women’s Rebellion and Islamic Memory, Forgotten Queens of Islam, and Doing Daily Battle.

In Women and Islam, Mernissi argues that the reason women’s rights are a problem for some modern Muslim men is not because of the Quran; it is because these rights contradict the interest of the male elite. She believes that religious texts are often manipulated, either for ideological advantage or material advantage. Since many of the original teachings of the Prophet have been manipulated by misogynists, Mernissi explicates, Muslims must be careful when accepting certain anti-women hadith as authentic. Mernissi also challenges the idea of hadiths accepted as “authentic” by Al-Bukhari, as well as modern scholars today, without the inclusion of Aisha’s or the Prophet’s other wives’ rebuttal to those hadiths. Citing examples of “rebellious” women like Sukayna, granddaughter of Caliph Ali who was divorced at least four times and who fought with her husbands to prevent them from practicing polygamy, Mernissi points out that Muslims are suffering from amnesia and need a reminder about their past, a past in which women were respected for their intellect and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with men, as did the Prophet’s wives Aisha and Umm Salama, as well as his great-granddaughter Sukayna.  
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Ghada Karmi's "Women, Islam, and Patriarchalism"

Karmi, Ghada. "Women, Islam, and Patriarchalism," in Feminism and Islam: Legal and Literary Perspecttives, ed. Mai Yamani. New York: New York UP, 1996.

Ghada Karmi, a doctor of medicine, was born in Jerusalem in 1939. She has held a number of research appointments on Middle Eastern politics and culture at the School of Oriental and African Studies in the Universities of Durham and Leeds. From 1999 to 2001, she was an Associate Fellow of the Royal Institute of International Affairs, where she also led a major project on Israel-Palestinian reconciliation. Currently, Karmi is a Research Fellow at the Institute of Arab and Islamic Studies, University of Exeter, and vice-chair of the Council for Arab-British Understanding.

In her article “Women, Islam, and Patriarchalism,” Karmi makes an earnest call for ijtihad (independent reasoning) in contemporary times. She identifies several aspects of Islamic law that need to be re-interpreted because, she asserts, they were formulated in a patriarchal Arab society in which the view and roles of women differed significantly from today’s time. She argues that Muslim women’s rights and access to their children after divorce need to be re-evaluated because, while women may not have been financially capable of taking care of their children at the time when these laws were constructed, many women are capable of doing so now. Karmi also advocates the re-readings and re-interpretations of several controversial Quranic verses, including 2:220, 2:223, and 4:34. She further questions the common conception that women in pre-Islamic Arabia were mistreated, suggesting that perhaps this claim is intended to make women appreciate the purported uplifting status that the patriarchal readings of the Quran give them, including those verses that appear to be pejorative to women. She explicitly states that her argument is not that the Quran is a misogynist document; it is that women are “infantilized” in the literal text of the Quran. She suggests that if the Quran is read in its historical and social contexts, different conclusions about the status and treatment of women may be drawn and applied.
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MPASI Kei Pertama Kali

Hai lagi semuanya, hari ini Kei masuk 6 bulan berarti dia sudah boleh makan MPASI kan. Kalo harus jujur sebenernya saking saya gak sabar dan juga kei terlihat udah amat nafsu saat lihat ada yang makan di deket dia jadinya saya mulai coba MPASInya hari minggu dua hari lalu. Nyesel sih ngga, tapi rasa efek surprise nya ga begitu dapet lagi hehee..


Tiga hari ini kei cuma saya kasih gasol beras merah wangi + asi perah aja, hari pertama terlalu cair jadinya kei gak terlihat begitu menikmati nyoba ngunyah-ngunyah begitu yah. Tapi tadi pagi saya coba buat lebih kental, awalnya sih memang padat gitu cuma saat asipnya rada dingin eehh mencair lagi deh. Besok saya mau kurangin aja deh, biar kei lebih semangat juga latihan mengunyahnya yah. 

Niat saya mau mampir pasar pulang kerja nanti untuk beli buah entah pisang atau labu atau alpukat maksudnya sih saya mau coba puree besok, tapi masih deg-degan takutnya malah pupnya cair lagi. Wong saya kasih gasol aja tiga hari ini, kei pupnya dua hari sekali dan udah bertekstur gitu. Berarti dia cocok dan gak ada tanda-tanda alergi juga sih :-) Kalo nanti malem nemu jeruk manis, saya ambil itu dulu aja deh, coba-coba biar kei tau rasa manis buah kayak apa. Oiya ini fotonya Kei saat mamam tadi.. Anakku pinter doyan makannya, mama loves you ya Kekei.


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‘SalamatusSadri’ (Berlapang Dada) dengan segala cubaanMu…




Bismillahirahmanirrahim…

(Dengan menyebut nama teragungMu Tuhan yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang…)


Alhamdulillah…wa syukurillah….


Di kedinginan dan selitan kehangatan sepertiga malam,,,
bersyukur kerana masih diberi nafas untuk berdiri dan sujud padaMu…


Setelah menyeka air jernih yang menitis, ditarik nafas dalam-dalam.
Seketika hembusan ketenangan menyapa relung hati..


Alhamdulillah, DIA campakkan juga ketenangan dalam kalbu ini meski hati sebenarnya berada dalam kegalauan.


Tidak dapat dinyatakan perasaan sebenar yang dirasai tika ini…
Kecewa, sedih, pilu, duka, rungsing semuanya berkumpul menjadi satu.


Namun, setelah semuanya diluahkan pada yang Maha Mendengar, akhirnya dada yang terasa sempit dilapangkan, jiwa yang resah menjadi tenang.


Alhamdulillah..sekali lagi kalimah tahmid itu ditautkan.


Ternyata sangat benar alunan kalamNya yang bermaksud:


“Dengan mengingati Allah jualah hati akan menjadi damai dan tenteram.”


Termenung seketika.

Memutarkan kembali fikiran pada titik noktah pada semua perkara dan hal yang berlaku.
Mungkin perkataan yang tepat untuk ditafsirkan rasa hati ini adalah kecewa.

Ya, kecewa.
Kecewa pada manusia dan kecewa pada diri sendiri.

Kecewa kerana kasih sayang yang dicurahkan, tidak sedikit pun dihargai…
Kecewa kerana sangat menyayanginya insan-insan ini tetapi mereka malahan membenci...
Kecewa kerana ada yang menyangka buruk dengan diri ini sedangkan diri sentiasa berhusnu zan dengan mereka…
Akhirnya merasa kecewa juga dengan diri sendiri.


Kerana tidak mampu menghadapi cubaan dan tohmahan tersebut dengan lapang hati.
Juga menginsafi, diri teramat kurang dan masih disaluti debu-debu dosa, akui masih banyak perlu dibaiki…juga bukanlah yang terbaik buat mereka…


Benar, ‘salamatussadri’ itu bukan semudah kata yang dituturkan.


Allahu…


Diri cuba bermuhasabah kembali…
Sungguh…

Tidak semua perkara yang kita seru semua orang akan mudah mengikuti.
Tidak semua perkara yang kita lakukan orang memandang mulia, malahan disapa hinaan dan cacian.
Tidak semua juga dapat fahami jalan perjuangan yang dilalui, malahan ada yang cuba menghalang.
Tidak semua pengorbanan kita, orang dapat merasai dan menghargai…


Insaf...
Ingin melihat kebaikan-kebaikan yang tersembunyi di sebalik semua ini.

Akhirnya diri menyedari, semuanya milikMu Tuhan….
Apa yang ku tahu..,, dan Engkau Tuhan sesunguhnya Maha Agung lagi Maha Mengetahui..
Meskipun hati terasa teramat kecewa dengan semua ini…

Namun, hati masih sentiasa sayangkan mereka. Masih merindui mereka. Masih ingin menjaga dan memberikan yang terbaik buat mereka. Bukan kerana mereka, tetapi kerana kusayangi mereka semata-mata KERANA-Mu ya Allah…

Meski tiada penghargaan, meski tiada ucapan terima kasih, meski mereka membenci, meski mereka memberikan yang sebaliknya, tetapi biarlah hati ingin  terus ikhlas memberi dan menyayangi mereka lagi, ingin dididik untuk berlapang dada menghadapi semua cubaan ini...

Cuba menerima segalanya dengan hati terbuka, meskipun kadang-kadang pahit untuk menelannya…. :’(


“Ya Allah…

Meski diri merasa kecewa, namun, hati tidak pernah merasa kecewa denganMu..
Tidak pula ku kecewa dengan aturan dan cubaan yang Engkau berikan ini...
Kerana Engkau sentiasa ada di sisi menemani,
Kerana Engkau yang memahami rasa hati ini,
Kerana Engkau Maha Tahu apa yang tersirat di hati ini,
moga ia kerana tanda Engkau mencintai diri ini…


Ya Rabbi…

Cukuplah jika keikhlasan ini Engkau yang menilainya, bukan manusia..
Cukuplah Engkau yang memberikan kekuatan dan ketabahan di saat hati merasa cukup rapuh dan goyah..
Cukuplah Engkau yang memberikan sebaik-baik balasan dan penghargaan, bukan manusia yang memberinya..
Maafkan hamba andai merasa kecewa…
Namun tidak ingin terus tenggelam dalam kekecewaan ini..
Balutlah hati yang berduka dan merasa kecewa pada manusia…
Berikanku selautan kesabaran…
Bantu daku untuk berlapang dada menerima segala takdiran…
Yakinkan daku dengan hikmahMu...
Yakinkan daku dengan janji-janjiMu…
Hanya padaMu ku berserah…”



~Ku akui dan sedari, jika tiada rasa kecewa ini, tidak mungkin akan timbul rasa salamatussadri tersebut…Allah, maafkanlah, sayangilah, kasihilah….Ku pasrah di atas segalanya ….~ 



p/s: “Cukuplah Allah sebagai wakil, sebaik-baik tempat sandaran dan meminta pertolongan…”


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Khaled Abou el-Fadl's "Speaking in God's Name"

Abou El-Fadl, Khaled. Speaking in God's Name: Islamic Law, Authority and Women. Oxford: Oneworld, 2005, chapters 2 & 7. 

Khaled Abou El Fadl is currently the Omar and Azmeralda Alfi Professor of Law at University of California, Los Angeles, where he has been teaching since 1998. His expertise lies in international human rights, Islamic jurisprudence, national security law, terrorism, and legal systems. He received his J.D. from the University of Pennsylvania in 1998 and PhD in Islamic Studies from Princeton in 1999. An Islamic jurist who received 13 years of systematic instruction in Islamic jurisprudence, Khaled Abou El Fadl is known as one of the world’s leading authorities on Islamic law and Islam as well as on human rights. He has received numerous honors and distinctions, including the University of Oslo Human Rights Award and the Leo and Lisl Eitinger Prize; he was named Carnegie Scholar in Islamic Law in 2005. Abou El Fadl has authored 14 books and over 50 articles on various topics in Islam and Islamic law and has lectured on and taught Islamic law throughout the United States and Europe for over twenty years.  

Speaking in God's Name is seven chapters long, but the two chapters most relevant to progressive, contemporary, and feminist interpretations are chapters 2 and 7. Chapter 2, titled “The Authoritative,” is a thorough and extensive discussion on the difficulties that a scholar, jurist, and/or interpreter comes across when interpreting a holy text. In particular, it challenges the perception that there is only one way to interpret a holy text and reminds the readers that the Prophet Muhammad is known to have said that all mujtahids (people who use independent judgment to settle a legal matter)are correct. This is intended as a reminder that scholars do not, and should not, agree on everything, and that such disagreements should be acceptable; after all, Islam has a long-established tradition of disputation and disagreement that started during the time of the Prophet. He observes that, unfortunately, views that do agree with those of the majority fare often shunned and stigmatized as “western,” and the bearer of the view is considered a heretic. Further, he points out that there is no formal institutional and hierarchal structure in (Sunni) Islam; God and the Prophet Muhammad are represented by texts, and it is to God, not man, to whom the Muslim is obligated to submit. These texts are therefore the only authorities that count, and the challenge throughout Islamic history and Muslim scholarship on Islam has been discerning what these texts really mean.

Chapter 7, entitled “Faith-based Assumptions and Determinations Demeaning to Women,” discusses and critiques several hadiths that are seemingly demeaning to women, including those about women being cursed if they do not submit to their husbands’ sexual whims, women’s obligations to prostrate to their husbands if God has so willed, and women as the source of fitnah (“disorder” or “turbulence”) in society. The author challenges these hadith by citing both Quranic verses and other hadiths that contradict those that dehumanize and objectify women.
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Salient features of the Pakistan Hajj Policy 2011

Salient  features of the Pakistan Hajj Policy 2011
[Ministry of Religious Affairs - Islamabad - Pakistan]

Pakistani Hujjaj quota has been increased from 159,647 to 179,256.

Hajj scheme 2011 shall be implemented through Government Hajj Scheme and Private sector i.e. Hajj Group Organizers (HGOs) with proportionate share of
around 50:50.

There shall be no balloting this year under Government Hajj Scheme and applicants will be considered successful on the principle of “first come first serve”.

The applications under Government scheme will be invited from 15th April to 10th May 2011 through designated banks.

Under the Government Hajj Scheme, there will be two categories of accommodation i.e. Green Category within 2000 meters without transport with a rental ceiling of Saudi Rayal (SR) 4000/- per pilgrim and White Category beyond 2000 meters with transport with a rental ceiling of SR.3600/- per pilgrim.

The rent in Makkah Mukarramah will be charged on actual basis from pilgrims and at Madinah Munwwarah at a flat rate of SR.450/- per pilgrim.

PIA has agreed for airfare @ Rs. 72,000/- for south zone and Rs. 84,000/- for north zone.

Hajj dues of White category will be Rs. 200,847 for south zone and Rs. 212,847 for north zone.

Hajj dues of Green category will be Rs. 210,047 for south zone and Rs. 222,047 for north zone.

Hujjaj will be airlifted by the national airlines of both countries in equal share, in pursuance of the revised Air Service Agreement (ASA) between Government of Pakistan and Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

15% of the total seats under Government scheme will be reserved for hardship cases, pilgrims recommended and funded by charitable institutions and Labour/low paid Employees of different organizations/corporate entities under corporate social responsibility etc. Balance number of seats, if any, will be allocated to late comers at an enhanced package @ 5% of the Green category to fill the resource gap for welfare activities.

A broad based Accommodation Hiring Committee comprising five members will hire the accommodation in Makkah Mukarramah and Madinah Munawwarah.

Hujjaj under Government scheme will not be required to pay any amount on account of Personal Exchange Quota (PEQ) and same will be arranged by them
from open market through banks or foreign exchange companies.

There shall be no fresh enrolment of HGOs in the year 2011. HGOs already enrolled with MORA in the year 2010 shall continue in 2011 with the same quota.

HGOs will offer only two packages i.e. economy and executive.

For the welfare services, Medical Hajj Mission will be increased from 260 (2010) to 540 (2011), 230 Khuddam ul Hujjaj to be drawn from Armed Forces, Civil Armed Forces & Pakistan Boys Scouts and number of Local Khuddam ul Hujjaj to be increased from 250 (2010) to 900 (2011) subject to availability of resources.

A comprehensive awareness campaign and training to the intending pilgrims will be launched.

Hujjaj Mohafiz Scheme based on the concept of “Takaful” will be launched with the contribution of Rs.400/- non-refundable by each Haji for compensation due to death / accident during Hajj.

There will be a committee of Parliamentarians called “Hajj Advisory Committee” to advise on policy, planning and management of Hajj operation 2011 in Pakistan as well as in KSA.

Any person who has performed Hajj during the last five years will not be eligible except Mehram, Group Leader or undertaking Haj-e-badal.

International Machine Readable Passport, Computerized National Identity Card and medical certificate shall be mandatory.

All pilgrims (Male/Female) to affix a Pakistan flag sticker on their “Ahrams” for identification. Every female pilgrim to carry at least two “Abayas” preferably of black colour.

Pilgrims to ensure that their luggage is labeled bearing Name, Nationality, Passport Number, Air Carrier, Building and Flight Numbers.

Monitoring and supervision mechanism for Hajj operation in Pakistan and KSA shall be strengthened.
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Oemjiii :(

Aduuh, maaf ya semuanya kalo saya mulai sama keluhan. Soalnya sekitar dua jam lalu, ibu -ibu yang biasa rapihin rumah sekaligus nyetrika baju saya, suami, dan kei tiba-tiba kirim sms yang nyatain kalo dia ga bisa kerja di tempat saya lagi. Sebenernya kerja ibu itu rapiih dan bersiih lho, dan awalnya juga dia yang minta kerjaan sekaligus dia yang mulai dengan berapa besar gaji yang dia mau, tapi kenapa dia brenti?? huuuhuhu, entah siapa yang gantiin belum tau nih, pussyiing rasanya. Mana udah banyak tumpukan baju kotor yang harus dibenah-benahin, hiks jadi sedih. Sedih karna akan ada waktu yang tersita lagi dari ngurusin Kei n suami, kan harus nyelesein tuga rumah tangga juga sebagai ibu RT yang baik..
Sebenernya sih memang lebih irit kalo saya ngerjain semua sendiri, uangnya lumayan bisa ditabung atau beli barang lain, tapi kan saya ada Kei di rumah dan gak mungkin dia ditinggal-tinggal atau dicuekin karena saya sibuk beberes rumah, wong tadi pagi aja kei saya cuekin karena sibuk masak..soalnya kan saya lagi rajin-rajinnya belajar masak niih, biar suami makin sayang heuhehhee.. saat lagi asik motong wortel eh dia mewek sekeras-kerasnya kaya kucing kelaperan, dan ternyata benar saja dia kehausan minta nenen sama mamanya hehheee..
Kayanya kudu cuti masak dulu nih kalo harus nyetrika, emang bener harus ada yang dikorbankan toh yah..masa anak dan suamiku harus dianggurin sih, walaupun jujur aja badan kadang capek kalo harus ngerjain semua sendiri, kan kita bukan superwoman yah.. ya sutralah, things happen for a reason pastinya :D Semangat mama Kei..kamu pasti bisa tentunya.
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Asma Barlas's "Believing Women in Islam"

Continuing the series.

Barlas, Asma. "Believing women" in Islam:Unreading Patriarchal Interpretations of the Qur'an. Austin: University of Texas Press, 2002. 

Asma Barlas holds a PhD in International Studies from the University of Denver and an M.A. in Journalism from the University of Punjab in Pakistan. She is currently a professor of Politics and the director of the Center for the Study of Culture, Race, and Ethnicity at Ithaca College, New York. Barlas was granted the position of Spinoza Chair in Philosophy at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands in Spring 2008. 

In Unreading Patriarchal Interpretations of the Quran, Barlas argues that the Quran does not have to be read through a patriarchal lens and that, in fact, it is inherently an anti-patriarchal text. Although she does not deny that the Quran can be read in patriarchal modes, she convincingly explains that it can be read through other modes as well, keeping in mind the fact that all texts are polysemic and are therefore open to multiple interpretations. In fact, she admits that it is difficult making the kind of claim that she does because there are Quranic verses that support notions of gender inequality and male dominance. Through this idea, she challenges those readings of the Quran that not only support but also encourage the oppression of women. She asserts that, with such unjust readings, Muslims are ignoring the fact that the Text has actually been misread. Her intention, she states, is to demonstrate that Muslim women can fight for equality using the teachings of the Quran itself. Expounding upon the notion of authority in early Islamic thought, Barlas concludes that classical scholars and interpreters of Islam incorporated the concepts of inequality and patriarchy into Islam to justify existing thoughts about women in that era, hence suggesting that what the Quran comes to teach is contingent upon who is reading it and in which contexts. She proves her claims by emphatically discussing those verses of the Quran that have been read in a manner that supports misogyny – verses that are often read out of social and historical contexts. Since misogynistic interpretations are usually supported by hadiths, narrations of Prophet Muhammad’s practices, Barlas also discusses the notion of authority and the development of the Sunnah/sunnah (typically equated with Prophet Muhammad’s—and hence the best— interpretation of the Quran) and thereby reminds Muslims of the negative impact of elevating the status of hadiths over the Quran.
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Belajar Masak

Hai semuanya, balik lagi kembali menulis ini hehe.. Saya akhir-akhir ini lagi rajin bener buka buka situs masak MPASI untuk Kei, secara tanggal 18 nanti kan dia sudah mulai makan bubur. Beberapa hari lalu sih saya udah order tepung gasol (karna katanya paling bagus untuk bayi belajar makan) dan amazed sekali soalnya saya bayar di pagi hari pas siang hari udah sampe aja tu gasol-gasol kerumah, udah pasti servis mereka nomer satu tuh, very speedy lah hehee..
Rencana sih Kei pertama kali mau kukasih bubur beras merah, tapi masih agak bingung apa buburnya saja atau langsung dikasih sama temennya kaya sari jeruk atau puree puree an. Mesti lebih sering buka websites sih kayanya biar gak terlalu bodoh bodoh banget ibu baru kayak saya ini :)
Ah as time flies pastinya makin tau lah saya.
Oiya, beberapa hari ini saya belajar masak di rumah untuk suami, biar dia gak iri hehe.. soto kemaren lumayan enak lah untuk amatiran kayak saya, walau memang kudu ditambah jeruk nipis biar agak asem, terus tadi pagi bikin sup ayam tapi lupa kukasih bawang putih, betapa bodohnya dirikyuu..gak gurih deh, tapi yang penting susuku keluar banyak karena banyak makan sayur hehee.. Biasanya saya paling suka bikin tumis jamur pake jagung n wortel n sosis atau ayam, very very yummy..
beneran deh, jadi ibu bikin saya kepingin belajar belajar dan belajar..
Ill write again some other time yaah ;)
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Kecia Ali's "Sexual Ethics and Islam"

Ali, Kecia. Sexual Ethics in Islam: Feminist Reflections on Qur'an, Hadith, and Jurisprudence. Oxford: Oneworld, 2006.

An Assistant Professor of Religion at Boston University, Kecia Ali received her B.A. from Stanford University and her PhD in Religion from Duke University in 2002. In the 2003-2004 academic year, Ali was a research associate in Harvard Divinity School’s Women’s Studies in Religion Program. Her research interests center on Islamic religious texts, particular jurisprudence, and women as represented in both classical and contemporary Muslim discourses. Currently (2010), she serves as co-chair for the Study of Islam Section of the American Academy of Religion and is also a member of the Steering Committee for the Consultation on Religion and Sexuality.

Kecia Ali starts off her book by opening a fascinating discourse on the sexual subordination of Muslim women in Muslim cultures and in Islamic thought, using jurists like al-Shafi to back up some of her statements. She argues that some Muslim authors, like Abdul Rahman Doe, a Nigerian scholar, express the obligations of the Muslim man as if to suggest that he actually fulfills them willingly; they compare the ideal way that Muslim life is supposed to be to that of the reality of family life in the west. She also asserts that Islam as commonly practiced is a consequence of “men’s Islam,” which is the interpretation of Islam as understood by Muslim male scholars and jurists in medieval times and is sometimes misogynistic; as such, she proposes the idea of turning to the Quran alone as a guide. Further, she supports the view that the conclusions of the early jurists and scholars of Islam were influenced by their cultures and societies; hence, to universalize and eternalize their views is practically irrational. Ali addresses many controversial topics related to the Quran and/or as understood by Muslim jurists, including spousal support, the sexual availability of wives, the prohibition of marriage between Muslim women and non-Muslim men, and the husband’s authority during divorce. She explores others topics as well: dower, polygamy, the widespread insistence that homosexuality is “modern” or “western” and definitely “un-Islamic,” and permission for men to be intimately involved with their concubines—or female slaves or war captives—without being married to them, along with four wives. For each of these issues, she shares different interpretations of many scholars and jurists, both classical and modern, and considers various questions that tend to arise, or have arisen, pertaining to them. She notes, for example, that the dower has been seen as "the price of the vulva" by Muslim jurists, allowing sexual access to the wife as long as she is married to her husband. Ali goes on to challenge the accepted sexual ethics in Islamic thought as posed by both classical and modern scholars, analyzes their views, and questions the concepts of good versus evil and of forbidden versus permissible actions.

Click here to read about Asma Barlas's text and here for Leila Ahmed's.
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