Here I am, in bed. Awake, but still feeling kind of sleepy. Woke up an hour and a half ago, needed to help hubby pack his needs before leaving for Bandung for two days and one night. He left around thirty minutes ago. I am alone but not necessarily lonely. I am so used to being by myself; and I find it normal. Some people might think of me as not good at making friends; but I don't think that makes sense. I have friends, though not many, I have acquaintances; though these are the ones I don't really talk to much, still they are around me.
I can enjoy me being solitary for the next two days, as if I were single again, not married. I have planned on staying at home, haven't thought of anything else. I am thinking of taking a nap later in the afternoon, that will be super. Cant remember the last time I actually took a short nap. It must've been a long time ago :)
Two or three days ago, I had this feeling of depression. Me? Depressed? That sounds crazy I know. I dont look like someone who gets sad easily, I laugh quite a lot, and that sort of thing. But honestly, at that very moment I had the feeling of me not being enough. I felt like I was being compared. That's all that I can say. Probably it is just instincts of those wanting to protect me.
Tmelania
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