Assalamualaikum (peace be with you) to those who happen to be reading this :)
Been here for some time? gee thanks. Everything I post on this free blog seems to be just the same: plain, so sorry for being so common. It's just that I don't think there is anything special or beneficial i am good at that can be shared to the world, hehehe.
My daughter is my worldly joy, she's like the center of my universe. Second after the Almighty, she comes as my top priority. Being a parent, you know, is kind of taking me out a bit from my world before. I now enjoy reading books and blogs on how to be a great parent; for I know there's no such thing as a perfect one. I have also fallen in love with baby products and needs' particularly the ones that are on discount and are able to create a cuter look for my daughter (not saying that she isn't cute enough for me :p)
How am I going to start this? feeling kind of confused now. oh well, i'll just be frank. I come from a family whose parents are divorced. Yep, my mom and dad split up when I was still in Primary School, I think. I don't precisely remember when. As far as I can recall it is that when my brother and I were still in lower primary level, we were living only with our mom and grandmother at that time. Never had we questioned about our dad, we only knew that he wasn't there.
As I grew older, I stayed at my aunt's for a few years. I remember my dad suddenly came over on one afternoon, and since that day on he continued visiting me (at my aunt's) once or twice in a week until he passed away in 1993. I didn't really have a father figure. However, I look up to some people around me. They're not my dad, but they seem to be good father figures.
A lot of times in my prayers, I ask for forgiveness from Allah for what has happened and for how it will eventually affect my daughter.
I will always try my best to keep Kei happy and secure and feel loved. And one of the means is by letting her acquire what she has to acquire. Splitting up from my ex does not mean kei needs to. She has the rights to get enough affection from everyone she is related to, especially her dad.
Things have not been easy, especially since I have to put some efforts into ensuring my mother that it is okay to let her meet him and that i would be a bad mom if I prevent Kei from seeing her biological dad.
My ground is still the same: if there is no question about Kei then I will not inform. If there seems to be no interest in finding out about her, I will not insist. Kei is not a product that needs to be advertised to get attention. She deserves it.
There may still be anger and it can be really difficult for us both to get over the history and that it seems to be impossible to talk to or to speak to the person who is no longer in my present. Still, my child needs to have close relationships with us both. She shouldn't be a victim. The marriage may have ended, but the tough parts of my daughter's life have not even begun. And remember, never say bad things about your ex to your child, it is the same with wanting your child to be on your side.
Here's a letter that may be in the heart of a child whose parents are divorced.
What I need from my mom and dad: A child’s list of wants :
• I need both of you to stay involved in my life. Please write letters, make phone calls, and ask me lots of questions. When you don’t stay involved, I feel like I’m not important and that you don’t really love me.
• Please stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on matters related to me. When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong and I feel guilty.
• I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Please support me and the time that I spend with each of you. If you act jealous or upset, I feel like I need to take sides and love one parent more than the other.
• Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back and forth.
• When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. When you say mean, unkind things about my other parent, I feel like you are expecting me to take your side.
• Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life. I count on my mom and dad to raise me, to teach me what is important, and to help me when I have problems.
Source: University of Missouri
Tmelania
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