WHEN A MOM IS TIRED AND WORN OUT

Assalamualaikum...

Good morning people, taking some time on the internet while baby is still enjoying her sleep time. I'm not sure if I have been doing it right about this. Kei wakes up later than most kids her age I think, and some people tell me that it is not a good habit. If I keep letting her wake up at any time she feels like, then when she starts school, it will be difficult for I and her to get used to the morning routine.

Only just a few days ago, I questioned myself whether it is me who's doing it the wrong way or is it others who are basically just telling me what to do.

Kei has been draining my energy these past two weeks. She is seriously showing off her "terrible two" behaviors. She pinches me and others for no reason, she says "NO" when asked to pick up things she throws away, she cries and cries and murmurs words I don't understand when she's asked why, she screams, she grabs stuff from others without asking permission, she refuses to sleep early or to take a nap. Oh my sometimes i am so tired i yell at her. And minutes after realizing it i say sorry to her. i feel like i am running out of ideas to just make her say okay mom.

Two days in a row, she pooped in her pants. However, whenever she gets asked about where she is supposed to pee or poop, she instantly says "the toilet/the bathroom." I just don't get it. I try not to yell or call her silly, i try so hard. Hope Allah forgives me for being so selfish.

She is just a two year old, we may think two year olds aren't capable of anything crucial, but they are. They usually see what we say or do as the right things. When we aren't consistent with what we're doing, then they get confused. They like to see our reaction. When we're angry and burst out, they will find it amusing and may try another similar thing to see how we will react again.

As a two year old, kei must love playing. So why don't I try to play more often with her? The sad thing is sometimes i get so drowned in completing my chores until I have very little time for kei. I need to try harder i guess. As a person with a child, i should behave like a child when i'm with her. 

Bear this in mind (for me and moms and dads out there). DO NOT ever hit your child. 

I kiss my daughter very often even though sometimes kei doesn't let hug her for more than 10 seconds. She hates being hugged like a little baby now. Parents must kiss their kids so that they understand how much they mean. Remember that we have to teach our kids not to accept kisses or hugs from other people except family members and to report to us if someone (ie. stranger) tries to.

As parents, we must try not to order or forbid our kids too much. They are learning things by themselves. As long as their action isn't fatal (dangerous) for them and others, let them do it.

I have always tried to keep my promises to her. When kei wants some cold drinks, i tell her she's still coughing but when she is fully recovered then it'll be fine to get her some. When you tell them you're going to buy them ice cream, then do so. Don't make excuses when you forget it. It is one of the pillars in raising and training kids. 

I haven't been able to teach Kei to knock on the door before entering a room / a house. Well she does knock but directly opens it without waiting for an answer. This is a guideline for kids to always knock on doors (especially bedrooms). We don't want our kids to see what we and our spouse are doing in bed, right.

Since months ago, during bath time, i have introduced kei to some vital parts of her body. I tell her that the only ones who can touch them are only her. If anyone does, then tell mommy or grandma. We, as parents, must not play with our kids' vital body parts since it may be regarded as acceptable by them. 

I have to stop on this one. NEVER let anyone especially the ones of a different gender, bathe your child or take parts in anything related to you child's cleanliness. After bath, don't let your child be naked in front of others. When you're in a public place and your child's T-shirt is dirty, don't directly change it in public and be seen by strangers. Go to the public restroom/nursing room, and change your child's clothes there. By doing this, it also means you respect your kids and their body. Build your children’s characters by respecting them. When the Prophet was conducting Salah Jamaah, he made it faster as he heard children of praying mothers crying. 


When parents don’t satisfy the natural urges and desires of the child, the child then resorts to wrong ways and means (often linked to sin) to try and give himself the necessary push to build his sense of self and importance. Personality, independence, will, self-trust, and likewise, weakness, baseness and lack of self-trust are all characteristics the foundations of which are in the lap of the father and bosom of the mother. A child who has not been treated like another human being or a valuable member of the family cannot be expected to have a well formed personality in adulthood.

Every day, Kei probably sees me offer the five mandatory prayers the most. She sometimes follows me doing them, and I hope it will be recognized by her soon that there is thing her mom does regularly and she never misses it so it must be really important and that she has Allah who sees whatever she does and says and protects her better than her mom. I wish I can teach her religious Islamic values as soon as possible :]

Don't be bossy to your children like grabbing their wrist when they do something wrong/bad. One of the duties of parents is to foster the innate nature of telling the truth in children. Their behavior in the house should be such that this becomes a habit. 

Oh my there's still a lot for me to learn and do. 

Tmelania