Assalamualaikum my dear readers.
Drinking coffee at ten pm is not a good idea at all. My eyes are still wide open and there is no drowsiness in me. Kei is asleep, poor girl, she tried to be awake so that she could still play around with me, but i think she just couldn't resist the temptation of the bolster, blue blanket, and her strawberry-flavored milk. Before she dropped herself onto the blanket, she was basically looking at me for quite some time without saying anything, but her eyes seemed to be heavy. And I was too busy on the net. I knew offering her some milk was the best way to make her close her eyes in an instant. It’s Sunday anyways in a few more hours, so there will be a lot of time for us both to spend time together.
Read something about feeling embarrassed / ashamed. It is pretty interesting, and it gave me a “WOW” feeling. Then I kept saying to myself, oh yeah this is right, how come I've just realized it now.
When was the last time I felt embarrassed?
Answering this question, i could say when I had to greet parents and students with a short and simple Chinese phrase and that I also had to pose in front of the other employees, considering me as a newbie at that time.
Hello??! Hmm, because i was new there? Because I couldn't speak Chinese Because i was not wearing my best outfit? Because i hadn’t been able to drop a few kilos so that my clothes would have fit me better? I am making up excuses now. Actually, I didn’t and still don’t know why I was even embarrassed of it. Nearly every teacher who couldn't speak the language as well but had to do the same thing.
Can you mention other real situations when embarrassment struck you in the past.
- Okay, i was a little embarrassed when my daughter refused to lend her toy to her cousin. -> it is natural for little kids, dont make it such a big deal.
- I have been in a situation when I had to make a goodbye speech in front of my former colleagues, although I had been working with most of them for years. -> looks like it was a natural reaction of me being an introvert.
- My brother bought my daughter lots of things a couple of weeks ago, for no reason. -> I felt I wasn’t a good parent since I wasn’t the one buying my daughter her needs.
- I went to this restaurant and it took me a while to order something since i wanted to make sure it was something nice to eat and also that the cash money i had was enough :] -> I didn’t want people to see me as being unable to afford the meals.
- Someone told me that I could’ve bought some better clothes for my daughter. -> I felt that my taste was horrible and that I was ‘poor’?
And then that article listed a few actions or situations when the actual humiliating things occur without anyone realizing it, or wanting to care about it.
Here are some..
- You’re on an angkot (public transport), and then there’s this guy who takes out his pack of cigarettes and starts smoking. Sadly, everyone keeps silent.
- Flying abroad taking the business class. However, before boarding some passengers are still busy using their modern gadgets.
- On the street driving your car, then you feel a bit hungry, so you grab some wafer. Afterwards, you open your car window and dispose the trash outside your car and onto the street.
- Let’s say we go to a traditional market to buy some fruits. There, of course we can still bargain with the sellers. After reaching a deal on the price, and the fruits have all been placed in a plastic container, you say this to the seller “I’ll take two more as a bonus, thanks.” and walk away.
- This happened to me months ago. I was lining up in a chemist wanting to pay for some stuff. At the same time, I was also busy looking after Kei my daughter who went here and there. For about ten seconds I didn’t pay attention to the person in front of me. When Kei was already with me, I looked forward and realized that the person a few centimeters before me was not the same person I had seen earlier. So I called “that man” and said to him directly, “Sorry sir, I don’t think you were in front of me before?” It was more like a questioning-judging tone. The guy didn’t say a word, he walked away from me and went straight to the end of the line.
- A man, who had a good position in the government, was about to travel and on the plane before boarding he was still using his cell-phone, then an air stewardess noticed this and came to him to ask him to shut his phone off. He got upset and hit the flying attendant with a newspaper. This story became headlines for some time in Indonesia.
There you go.
See ?
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It has always made me happy when something I read or find out on the internet make me know more about things. And this is one of them :]
So when you feel you are doing the right thing, there is no need to feel ashamed about it.
Here’s a tip to know whether you're doing something not right. You should feel embarrassed when you do "that" thing and you don't want people to know about it.
tmelania
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